Monday, March 22, 2010

Disneyland Date Night!

Tyler and I are so thankful that we have Disneyland passes for the 2nd year in a row! It's nice to just jump in the car and drive down to Disneyland for a night of fun! This past Friday we had dinner at Rain Forest Cafe and then watched the Electrical Parade (one of my new favorite things!). We didn't even try to ride anything (that's what weekdays are for!) since it was so busy, but it was nice to once again take in the sights, sounds, and yummy smells (churros anyone?!) of the happiest place on earth! We always end our night with ice cream from Main Street (I love me some sprinkle cones with chocolate ice cream!)!! :) Here are some pics from this past Friday!

Electrical Parade! So colorful!!

I think Disneyland will always be a special place for Tyler and I. It's where we got engaged (I still get butterflies thinking about that night!) and have spent so many fun times together!:)

Who Has the Cutest Niece Ever?! Me!

I love my niece! She is so darn cute! I got to spend some quality time with her this past weekend! First we met up with Scott and Christina (Tyler's brother and his wife) at Disneyland Friday night because we both just happened to be there! On Saturday we had more quality time while I watched her!:) We hung out at Tyler's softball game! She was pretty deep in thought the entire time just checking everything out! She got to hang out with her little friend K.J., but once K.J. stole her ball she gave him the cold shoulder!;)

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Redding Weekend

This past weekend Tyler and I were able to take a very quick trip up to Redding! We were seriously there for a day and a half! After driving for 10 hours to get there, I would really prefer for a more extended stay, but we have to take what we can get! We took a group of 4 high school students from the youth group up for the Genesis preview weekend at Simpson so we had a built in excuse to see my family! It's definitely hard to be so far away from my parents and brother, so I welcome any chance to spend time with them. We had not seen them since Thanksgiving so a visit was much needed.:)

Although there are many perks to living in Southern California (beaches, beautiful weather, Disneyland...just to name a few!), there are things I miss about Redding! Shocking I know!;) Redding is so very tranquil compared to Southern California! There is no traffic or waiting in lines everywhere you go! There are only 2 lanes on the freeways! A carpool lane is unheard of up North! Why would you need one of those? ;)

Even though our trip was a quick one, we got to do some fun things!

Here we are with yummy sesame chicken from Yuet Bistro!! We definitely miss this Redding restaurant!

My wonderful mother took me shopping on Friday night!:) We have an Old Navy in Riverside, but it's so much more fun when Mommy pays for it!:) She wanted to treat me to some new spring clothes and I didn't complain!:)

We got to make a quick stop at the Sundial Bridge! Tyler and I used to go on walks, bike rides, and scooter rides all the time here when we both lived in Redding and when he came to visit me. We even have a favorite bench we love to sit on there and thankfully no one was sitting on it so we could!:)

We both have lovely double chins in the above picture, but it was the only one I took of us sitting on "our" bench so I had to post it!

Tyler skipping rocks!

Me attempting to skip rocks!;)

I wish I would have taken a picture of our bagels from Manhattan Bagel! My dad brought us some on Saturday morning! Yum! We have a bagel shop right near our apartment in Riverside that we like, but I like Manhattan Bagel better I think!;)

I also got to have coffee with Ally and I didn't get a picture of us together! Ohhhh...I didn't get one with Summer either!:( BOO! She and her husband Tyler came by my parents house for a visit! I was happy to see them both!!

Overall, it was a great weekend!:) It went by way too quickly and I miss my family and friends already!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

So, I have been sick for a month now.:( Boo. It all started at the beginning of February when I felt what I thought was a cold coming on. It quickly progressed into much more then a cold and I felt like I wanted to rip my eyes off my face. I had sinus pain and pressure that was making me miserable. I went to the doctor about a week into it, found out I had a sinus infection, left with 5 days of antibiotics and thought everything would be fine! Well, I never really felt any better while taking the antibiotics or after I finished them. Less than a week after I finished them, guess what? I felt worse than I did before! I was in denial and just praying it would go away! Nope! This past Monday I was back at the doctor.:( Another sinus/upper respiratory infection, and now 10 days of antibiotics! My ears have been hurting and the doctor said it's because there is fluid behind them. No wonder! This past week I have just been feeling so awful! I am not sleeping well, have no appetite, and just feel crummy. I am definitely ready to start feeling better! I am sick and tired of feeling sick and tired!!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

At A Loss

This past week has been really hard for me. I feel like a lot of things have just "hit" me at one time and just trying to process through my feelings has been hard. I simply feel at a loss for what I am going to do next school year. Things don't look good for teachers at all. In the Riverside Unified School District 372 teachers have been pink slipped for next year. I cannot even believe it. Class size reduction is being eliminated. Awesome. What a good decision...let's pile 34 students into a class with one teacher. Don't even get me started about how I feel about this. Not to mention the fact that these teachers are expected to be miracle workers. It's all about test scores and making sure students achieve high scores on the CST. Not that testing is bad; I just think it has gotten out of control. Teachers are not given a lot of room to be creative and actually "teach." It's all about standards, testing, benchmarks...blah blah blah.

I have no idea what I am going to do. I feel so discouraged. The word is that all the pink slipped teachers will get first priority to sub (which is the right thing to do) and all of the other subs (me) will not be able to sub at all. After working so hard for my credential I really feel like none of my hard work even matters. I had a 4.0 throughout my credentialing program and I honestly feel like it doesn't mean anything. I made it through student teaching and exhausting myself to make sure my portfolio was flawless and you guessed feels like it means nothing. All I have now is a piece of paper, student loans, and no idea what I am going to do. I only have four 1 month classes left till I have my Masters Degree in education and it feels like when I finish it I will just have another piece of paper in my hand, but no teaching job. Since having a Master's will not really benefit me right now (it just means a district would have to pay me more, which makes me less desirable at this point) I am trying to "drag" out completing my Master's over the next couple of years. I just have to take one class a year to stay enrolled in the program so that's my plan as of right now.

I feel so frustrated. I feel called to be an educator. I am passionate about education and making a difference in the lives of kids. I had two teachers who left such a tremendous imprint on my life; I want to be that kind of teacher. I felt strongly that God was calling me to this profession; I followed that call. Now I just feel like all I see in front of me are closed doors. People keep telling me, "Oh just find a new profession." I know they are just trying to be helpful, but it really isn't helping. It's not just that easy.

I contacted an employment agency a few weeks ago to check into maybe finding secretarial work after this school year ends. The lady told me, "We won't even look at you until you have two years of experience." It frustrates me that I have 5 and half years of college under my belt and I won't even be considered for a job that doesn't require a college education until I have 2 years of experience. I understand experience is necessary, I do, but won't even consider me?

I keep hearing things will turn around for teachers over the next few years, but what about right now? What will I do? It feels like it will take a miracle to find a job in education for this next year. I have had a few good cries this past week. I just feel disapointed, confused, and sort of purposeless. I like subbing, but I want my own classroom. I want to see the same kids everyday and invest in their lives. I want to make a difference. I feel so satisfied in every other area of my life. I serve a great God, have an amazing husband, awesome family and friends, and am so blessed. However, right now I just feel like I am trying to figure out what God wants from me. I am scared about what I will do. I now that I can't worry about the future, but sometimes it's hard not to. Everyone says to wait 3 or so years and there will be so many teaching jobs at my fingertips. Tyler and I feel in about 4 years we will want to be starting a family and we know the challenges that may come with that, so will I even be able to start a new teaching job at that time? There are so many unknowns.

What do I know? I know I serve a God who sees my heart, who has a plan and a purpose for my life. I just wish I could see that dang plan right now!;) I have been praying that God will give me peace of mind. I know He knows what lays ahead and I guess that is all that really matters.

"Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself."
-Matthew 6:34

On another note, my husband is so amazing and such a huge support. This week has been rough for me. Not only have I been discouraged but I am battling another cold and a run-down body. On Monday I laid down to take a nap and found a love note from him under my pillow and yesterday I came home to a beautiful little potted plant he had bought for me with a note next to it that said "I love you." He melts my heart. It makes me tear up now just thinking about him and how good he is to me.

Here is my pretty little plant. It smells amazing too.:)